What no one tells you about relationships

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash


We tend to think that relationships depend on who we meet.

We tend to think that relationships succeed or fail because of who is with us.

There is a part of truth. But what no one talks about is how relationships depend on how deep we meet ourselves in the first place,

and how relationships succeed or fail because of us.

Often, we didn’t get to understand ourselves fully before finding an object for our love.

Or, we continue to wait for someone that will make us feel complete.

Of course, all of us feel lonely and empty inside sometimes. The unfortunate habit of our society nowadays is trying to fill the vacuum

by consuming, engaging, escaping. Yet, even if there are enjoyable things to consume, interesting people to engage with and

pleasurable places (real and virtual) to escape to, the empty feeling not only persists but becomes deeper than before.

We can actually transform our loneliness only when we truly understand ourselves, and it’s a never ending journey.

Does this mean that we have to wait until we fully understand ourselves to get in the “right” relationship?

And if the journey is never ending, how does this match the desire for a relationship?

What if, as a single mom, I can’t wait to get my life back on track, have a new relationship and maybe marry (again)?

The only secret you need to know is this one: SLOW DOWN.

Slow down to understand what you are looking for and why.

Slow down to understand what who you meet is looking for and why.

Slow down to assess if you are both on the same page- and do it often.

Slow down to look beyond appealing appearances.

Slow down to consider actions, rather than words.

In a society that celebrates speed as one of the main values, let me tell you: slow is a must for healthy relationships.

Hope I’ve learned myself this lesson enough.

Need any advice on this subject? Book your mentoring session (home page).

Get in touch to know more about my program Bold with Style-Mum® if you are a single mom.

Love and Light.

“If we see an image and are seduced by it, it is because we don’t know how to contemplate impermanence. Ignorant, we think that that form is wholesome and beautiful. We don’t think that appearance doesn’t contain anything real and long-lasting within it.”

-Sutra on the Net of Sensual Love, Verse 16